I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school? Because he’s dead
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
You have thin feet of the people think you were a duck
You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap, no feet, 9 arms, 17 stomachs. You stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat. NBA Youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
Big feet equals mini meat
the shark bit me and i feet red down my legs
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
off topic but why is the picture in the baby category feet? and nasty feet at that? what am i, dan schneider?
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first? Watching their expression change.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance and he replied I'm not much good, I have two left feet. Then how about Karaoke ? To which he replied. I have two left throats.
Wipe your feet before entering but in Stephen Hawkings case it is Wipe your wheels.
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
