Feet jokes
Did you know the giraffe’s hooves are the size of dinner plates? Too bad they would have nothing to put on them!
Off-topic, but why is the picture in the baby category feet? And nasty feet at that? What am I, Dan Schneider?
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
People always told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
Jesus has a twisted humor.
kittens cute cuddly and loveable oh yeah, I almost forgot, add razors that stick out [of] their feet.
Why did the orphan dig six feet under?
To find his parents.
How to make an orphan's feet bleed? Make them run in place until their parents get them.
What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
What did Jesus say when they removed the nails from his hands?
"Feet! Feet!"
Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.
Anyways,
Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?
More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!
But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.
How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.
How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.
Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".
What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".
If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.
Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!
Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low
Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.
A fully grown bull Great White Shark is 15 feet long and can open its jaws up to 1.2 meters long. It could eat a small child in seconds. Anyways, I lost my job at the aquarium...