Feel jokes
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.
Justin: Hey.
Josh: Hey man.
Justin: Why only "man"?
Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.
Justin: I don't mind.
Josh: Okay, S L A V E.
Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?
When he is wanted!
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.