Feel Jokes

Doctor , Doctor, I feel like a pair of Curtains ! what 's wrong with me! calm down calm down Just pull yourself together

There was a women from ealing, she had a peculiar feeling, she laid on her backk, opened her crack and pissed all over the ceiling

can we have sex because if we dont i cant like you big thick BOOTY! ;]*so lets have sex in bed you sexy woman or behind a tree because shoving my dick in your P***y is a very nice feeling while sucking your A*s

Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon

What are is the best feeling for an Orphan when he playes Grand Theft Auto?

When he is wanted

why does a straight guy act gay? cause he wants to feel wanted and wants to be bffs with the hotest girls

Justin: Hey Josh: Hey man Justin: Why only "man"? Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names Justin: I don't mind. Josh: okay S L A V E Justin: oh no not T H A T one

Why does the heart ♥️ listen to music 🎶 a lot? Because it loves feeling the beat.

When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.

But joke time....

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life... it’s not you ... it’s me!!!

Roses are red.... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you

why did the orphan play gta because he wanted to feel the wanted level

Chiropractor: Final neck adjustment in 3, 2, 1. How did that feel?

Me: *silence*

A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT

I have depression, but I don't know how to show it in feelings.

Man Goes To The Doctor He Has A Banana sticking out of one ear , a carrot stinking out of the other ear and a green been stinking out of one nostrils. "Doctor, I'm not feeling well" the man complains. " Well, it's no wonder" The Doctor replies " You're not eating right"

When your exercising and you feel the “gush”

I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!

A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.

Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: seeing others happy Doctor : ok so what makes you happy? Me: seeing stupid people in misery or agony Doctor: Well that's rather sadistic. Me: well statistically one in two doctors have fingerd a child... Doctor: do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy? Me: there's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".