Feel

Feel jokes

Wheelchair

A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

School shooting

Two boys are talking on the bus.

Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.

Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?

Boy 1: Oh, that's right.

Song

This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?

Curtain

"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"

Cookie

Mother: How is my little cookie doing?

Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.

Mother: Really?

Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.

Mother: 😁♥️🍪

Song

What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?

"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."

Stone

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

Woman

There was a woman from Ealing, she had a peculiar feeling. She laid on her back, opened her crack, and pissed all over the ceiling.

Slave

Justin: Hey.

Josh: Hey man.

Justin: Why only "man"?

Josh: It feels weird saying the r a c e y names.

Justin: I don't mind.

Josh: Okay, S L A V E.

Justin: Oh no, not T H A T one!

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  • Straight guy

    Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

    Orphan

    What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?

    When he is wanted!

    Time

    Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.

    Quote

    Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

    Darth Vader

    Why does Darth Vader always choke people?

    Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.

    Heart

    Why does the heart listen to music a lot?

    Because it loves feeling the beat.

    Orphan

    Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.

    Rape

    Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.