Family jokes
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
Yo mama so fat that your mama so fat, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that your mamas just fat.
Why did the orphan say, "Help?" He needed his brother.
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
Your mum. That's all I need to say.
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Hide and seek.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
Why can't orphans play softball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?
The motherboard was nowhere to be found.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
I had a dad.
How do orphan jokes start?
Checking your shoulder.
Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?
Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.
Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!
Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
Yo mama so fat, she died!
Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.
My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!
Carys’s mum has chemo.