Family jokes

Ur mom gay, ur dad lesbian.

Once a boy named penis had a crush on a girl named vagina. Their teacher found out and explained not to bump into each other; as innocence, they said yes.

One day, penis found his teacher in the bed naked masturbating. The teacher wanted hardcore anal sex, but vagina found it out and went to see them. The teacher told vagina that it's normal. Penis said, "Gosh, that it's normal, I put my dildo in vagina's pussy." Then they three had a hell of a time and they all were pleasured, but after six months, they both had a child, one named dildo and another named pussy.

So, narrated, it can be told that penis had sex with vagina and her teacher normally but ended up getting a dildo and pussy.

Your mom is fat.

Oooo, roasted!

According to all known laws of aviation,

there is no way a bee should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Coming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

- Barry? - Adam?

- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!

- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!

Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!

Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!

I used to look up to my mom, but now that I am 12, I look down on her.

"Where are you? I need to throw you out because Mum said to take out the trash."

Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!

Why does the orphan hate family jokes?

Cus it doesn't have one.

You wanna hear an orphan joke?

Okay, here it goes:

You.

Orphans are human, too! They just don't know who their parents are or where! I know four sisters named Mariah, Kariah, Lariah, and Iariah and they said they are orphans, too! And they are sad and they don't like your jokes!

Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!

Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!

Good luck, Jake.

What did the orphan say to the house? Can I live here?

UHH, DADDY!

Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?

Orph-Donald's.

Why do orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.

Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?

Son, you're adopted!

Why do all orphans get iPhone X's?

There isn't a home button.

How do you know your baby is dead?

It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.

My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!

Especially in bed...