Family jokes
Your mum. That's all I need to say.
Yo mama so fat that your mama so fat, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that your mamas just fat.
Me and your mom in the bed.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
Why can’t orphans fly? Because they’re still winging it.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
Carys’s mum has chemo.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
I had a dad.
How do orphan jokes start?
Checking your shoulder.
Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?
Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.
Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!
Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
Why can't orphans play softball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?
The motherboard was nowhere to be found.
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.