Family jokes
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
Why can't orphans play softball?
Because they don't know where home base is.
Ok, here's a story about the church.
There were two parents, then they had a baby. Then they go to the church and the baby was getting a cross on his forehead. Guess he was big headed. Sorry if this offends anyone or makes this joke bad since I keep writing this.
Me and your mom in the bed.
Why can’t orphans have dad jokes? Because they don’t got one.
Your mum. That's all I need to say.
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
Why can’t orphans fly? Because they’re still winging it.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
One day, a man was walking in an alley when a crackhead attacks him. So the man shoots him in the head and runs inside his home. When he goes to his wife, she asks him if he saw her dad.
I had a dad.
How do orphan jokes start?
Checking your shoulder.
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Hide and seek.
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
Yo mama so fat that your mama so fat, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that, mama so fat that your mamas just fat.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Why did the smart orphan lose the tech competition?
The motherboard was nowhere to be found.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?
Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.
Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!
Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].