Family jokes
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.
My dad never came back with the milk. My mom told me he's in the army.
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Your dad left for the milk because of your McDonald's hairline!
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
What do you call an orphan’s family tree?
A stump.
I started crying when Dad started cutting onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
To be wanted.
You are so ugly, when you were born, your mother asked for a receipt.
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
Why'd my grandpa fall over?
'Cause I clapped his cheeks, fool!
Your mum... payed other people to take you!!!!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
You're an orphan.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵