Family jokes
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home plate.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.
Why did the Vampire put his son up for adoption?
He thought his son sucked!
My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"
Orphan: Wanna have a sleepover?
Friend: But you're an orphan.
Orphan: Just wanted a place to sleep tonight!
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
Some kid online: I f*cked your mom.
Me, an orphan: Jokes on you, I don’t have one!
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
What made Adam and Eve's marriage perfect?
He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about his Mom's cooking.
Your dad is gone.
10 dicks up your mom's ass!
Why do orphans like to play GTA?
To be wanted.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
Your mom is so ugly. When she goes to the dentist, they make her face down.