Family jokes
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call daddy.
Memes
My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.
Father's Day is a dad joke.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
My sister is so dumb, she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
Your momma's so fat, she farted in bed and blew the covers off.
Why did the orphan kill himself?
A kid calls out for his mom one day while he is in the tub and says, "Mom come quick! I'm walking on water!"
And the mom runs in and says, "I knew evon whatent yo daddy! I ain't never slept with him a day my life!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.