Family jokes
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
Your mum... payed other people to take you!!!!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
Why can't my grandma talk?
Because she's dead.
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
Why can't orphans have an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
What does "off-limits" have in common with dead people? They can’t see their family.
Let's stop this, it's not funny. Oh wait, the orphans are all gone with nobody. 😂
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Orphan who needs a parent!
Every time my grandmother and I were at a wedding, she’d say: “you’re next.” So I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.
Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Why can't orphans be gay? They got no one to call daddy.
My dad was a master of art. He was compared to Houdini due to his skill of disappearing.
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Annie.
Your mom is so ugly her face would split in half when she sees you.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!