Family jokes

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

Why do orphans become hookers?

'Cause they can call someone "daddy."

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?

They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"

Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.

Why do orphans play baseball?

Because they have to run back to home base.

Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?

Because they both split away from their family.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

"-JuicyFruitSnacks- A whole lot of pepper and a whole lot of salt. If I blame it on my friends, it won't be my fault."

-Mully- This is my mom left!!

What does a baby computer call his father?

Data!

Every Dorito bag for orphans is family sized.

Why can’t orphans have a computer?

Because they don’t have a home page.

You are adopted.

No cap. No one loves you.

Bye.

I have a body count of 7.

What's a penguin's favorite relative?

You were born out of your dad.

Why do orphans want an iPhone S? Because it has a home screen.

Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?

Because "family is everything!"