Family jokes

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

When an orphan finds out who their parents are, and then finds out they're dead.

I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.

Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.

Why don't orphans have Life360?

Because parents won't track them.

Why did my brother cross the road?

Because he was looking for his brain.

Q: Why can orphans never be criminals?

A: Because they're never wanted.

Why can't an orphan be gay?

They have no one to call daddy.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.

Where was your mom last night? In the man club?

Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."

I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."

What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.

What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?

My dad hates them both!

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home, lol.

What's a penguin's favorite relative?

There was a house with a three-story building.

The first one had Mexicans.

The second one had Africans.

The third one had white people.

An earthquake came.

But who did survive?

The white family because they were at work.

Why do orphans miss half their basketball games? Cause they don't have home games.