Family jokes
What do you call your mom?
Basement bound.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school?
They do not have parents to bring to parent/teacher conferences.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
"Full House."
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What does the dead man say to the other? He says, "Your daughter is pretty."
The other man says, "How do you know?"
The other man says, "Because she is dead."
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans not play bingo?
Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Sad life goes, joke mom.
Why do I have a fat mom?
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.
You were born out of your dad.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they have to run back to home base.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?
Because they both split away from their family.
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Boomerangs come back, but your dad never did.
Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.