Family jokes
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
my sister thinking she took a good pic lol
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home base is.
What’s an orphan's favorite drink?
Fosters.
Roses are red, I have a blister, holy shit did you just cum in your sister?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?
Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.
My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.