Family jokes

Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

Why can't orphans use iPhones?

There's a home button.

Why can you hit an orphan?

Because they can’t tell their parents.

When I was born, I saw you at the adoption center alone.

That day your dad got milk. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

Your mom is so fat that Dora couldn't explore her.

I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.

Btw, it's a joke lol.

Your dad went on America's Got Talent for "smoothest way to leave their child."

Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?

Why do orphans become hookers?

'Cause they can call someone "daddy."

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

Why are orphans always at school?

'Cause they can't be homeschooled.

Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?

Little Johnny: "Your wife."

I wish my ex-wife would take me back. :(

Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?

Because they're home alone themselves!

Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!

Knock, knock.

Who is there?

Your Nan.

WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!

Why can’t an orphan take medicine?

They need parental supervision.

I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!

Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.