Family jokes

What does PEMDAS stand for?

Penis enters my dad and sister.

So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.

I will always remember my dad's last words...

Oh wait, I never knew them.

What do you call a boy in your mom?

Your dad.

My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.

I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

Yo mama so old, she was Jesus' nanny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Steve!"

"Steve who?"

Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.

My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.

Rhydon- son.

Rhydon? - mum.

RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

XD

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

Someone telling a joke:

Boy: "My parents are dead."

Girl: "My grandad is too."

Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

I was chopping onions with my brothers, so my little sisters cried. Onions was a good dog.

Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.

I’m am very sad that you guys are making fun of adopted kids because I am adopted :( :( 😢 🥺 😢 😭😭

My dad told me "No electronics at the table," so I unplugged my grandma's life support.

What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?

An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.