Family jokes
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳
The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words after robbing a bank: "Oh, shit! The pigs are catching up!" But the cops did not kill him; he drove full speed off a cliff.
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
I love playing games with my family.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.
Orphan: Mine are never.
What’s big, pink, long and makes my 12 year old girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth?
Her miscarriage.
My mom said I rely on my devices too much, so I unplugged her life support.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until their parents come home.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
An orphan's parents.