Family jokes
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Orphan jokes are funny to explore, especially with the family.
My face when my mom said we could go to McDonalds
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
What do a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her have in common?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
Ur adopted.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because there is no Mother's or Father's Day.
Sometimes when I think I'm ugly, I just think of my sister and it makes me feel better.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To be wanted.
What do you call an orphan with no relatives?
An orphan with no relatives.
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
What's the difference between an orphan's life and a knife?
A knife has a point.
If you hit 9999 orphans and they all tell each other, are the other orphans their parents???
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!