Family jokes
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.
3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?
Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?
One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"
Mum: Why are roses red?
Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.
Mum: I made you.
Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent’s signature.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?
A: They can't find home.
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.
Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.
If you're mad, hire an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents? 🤣🤣
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home! 😂🤣
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.