Family jokes
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your parents told me to pick you up.
Kid: Sir, this is an orphanage.
Kidnapper: ...
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
Memes
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
What’s the difference between a dad and a boulder?
About 15 stone.
I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD
When I was 17, my mom’s door was always locked. I wonder what she was doing.
Why do orphans go to public schools?
Who's going to homeschool them?
Your mum has balls.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
Why does an orphan play mum and dad?
'Cause they need self-love.