My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
Family Jokes
Why do orphans go to public schools?
Who's going to homeschool them?
Your mum has balls.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
Why does an orphan play mum and dad?
'Cause they need self-love.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad did not beat cancer.
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
I want to be loved.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.
Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
This shit is weird (as baby girl pees).
Dad: “Trust me, shitting is weirder.”
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
What did the dad say to the kid?
Nothing, he went to get the milk.
