Family jokes

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

Why don't orphans go to the park?

Because their parents can't push them on the swing!

"What did the orphan say to the other orphan? \"You have a dad? Say he can have me, I will (let) you, so he can adopt me.\""

Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?

Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.

Why does an orphan play mum and dad?

'Cause they need self-love.

I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

Cancer doesn't leave.

People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"

Every woman will die in five seconds.

Mother: Dies.

Sister: Dies.

Girlfriend: Lives.

You: 🤬

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

I want to be loved.

What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have nobody to call "daddy."