Family jokes

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Why is an orphan really good at being naughty?

Because they have no one to tell them off.

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.

Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?

Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.

Son: I hate you!

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t find their home.😁😁

Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.

Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.

Yo mama so hairy that bigfoot dated her.

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they need a parent’s signature.

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?

A: They can't find home.

I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

Why do orphans go to church?

So at least they will have someone to call father.

Why can’t an orphan have a dog? It always runs away.

Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?

If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!

My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.

So I threw an orange at her.