Family jokes

Why can orphans just be gay?

Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

Guess what.

What?

Your mum saw your 1 inch.

Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

What might an aborted child want for Christmas?

..... a home that isn't a bin.

You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.

Father: I'm taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Doctor: I'm going to have to turn you away.

Orphan: But why?

To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.

LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

Cancer doesn't leave.

Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

I saw a kid crying today. I asked him where his parents were.

I love working at an orphanage.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad did not beat cancer.

What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.