Family jokes

Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.

To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.

LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were.

Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?

Home buttons.

Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?

Because no one wants him.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?

A normal kid has a family.

Why can orphans just be gay?

Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

Guess what.

What?

Your mum saw your 1 inch.

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad did not beat cancer.

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.