Family jokes

Why can orphans just be gay?

Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

Guess what.

What?

Your mum saw your 1 inch.

I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.

What did the dad say to the kid?

Nothing, he went to get the milk.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad did not beat cancer.

I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."

Talking about planets with my nephew.

He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.

The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.

What does a deaf person and an orphan have in common? They both can’t hear their parents.

Why can’t an orphan go to Family Dollar? They don’t have a family.

Don’t mess with an emo because if their friends pull up, you gotta fight the suicide squad.

My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?

Dear Orphans,

I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)

Why do orphans want to die?

Because they might see their parents in Heaven.

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.

Everyone at the barbecue...

Why do orphans can't play baseball? They don't know where home is.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Ok guys, I think we should stop being mean. That will tell their grandparents.

Why did the orphan go to church?

To finally call someone father. 😂😂