Family jokes

What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.

Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?

Not a family photo.

What do you and orphans have in common?

Nobody loves you.

My career is worth more than your adoption.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't run home.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They don't know where home is.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.

Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan?

Because it has no home button.

Why does the orphan not buy milk?

That's what their parents are doing.

What were my great grandpa's last words?

"SHIT MG42!!!"

Why does an orphan always try to escape the orphanage?

Because he wants to get money to buy a family since they won't buy him.

Suck your mom. ☺️

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find their way home.

If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.

They never got together at all.