What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Family Jokes
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
What’s an orphan’s favorite snake, self raising flour?
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.
His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "Daddy~"
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
I was walking to the store, and then this boy told me, "I'm an orphan and I have no money." He wanted M\&Ms. I gave him a family-sized bag.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
Being an orphan isn’t all bad.
On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why do orphans get in trouble at school?
Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.
Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"
The Hulk SMASH!
Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"
Why do orphans love Oreos?
Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!
I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"
What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?
They have no way home.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
