Family jokes

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Your dead son.

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...

I made a website about orphans.

Sadly, it doesn't have a home page.

Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?

Because they want to feel wanted.

Why can you bully an orphan?

Because they can’t tell their parents.

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?

A. Hide and seek.

What’s a orphan's fav movie?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.

I asked a kid why he was so blue.

Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.

Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?

He could never get a home run.

What is the difference between E.T. and an orphan?

E.T. can actually call home.

I just had the worst gig of my life! I told yo mama jokes at the orphanage.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they can't call anyone their dad.

Why do orphans always come back?

Because I love cock.

What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?

The boomerang comes back.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.