Family jokes

Bully: Ha, guess what?

Nerd: What?

Bully: You are adopted.

Nerd: At least I was wanted!

Why do orphans wish they had a bounty on them so that they can be wanted?

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

Why does an orphan go to church?

So it has someone to call father.

Little Jonny fucked his mum.

What's an orphan's favorite game to play on Roblox? The game Adopt Me.

If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan.

What are they gonna tell their parents?

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang. Unlike its parents, it comes back.

What's the difference between an orphan and a bowl of apples?

The apples got picked!

Why do orphans hate apples?

Because they get picked over.

You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.

Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.

Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?

They don't have parent permission.

Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.

Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.

Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?

Me: 'Cause God made you.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?

His parents never brought back the milk.