Family jokes
"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎤😎
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X? Because there's no home button.
Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.
My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.
I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.
My sis is very funny. Her fave joke is:
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Mr. Nobody." "Mr. Nobody who?" "I just told you!"
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
Orphan: I want to be like Batman.
Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.
Why can’t orphans play baseball??
Because they can’t find their way to home plate.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
I bought my son an Xbox in 2017. It’s now 2018, and I’m still waiting for him to open it.