Family jokes
As a brother, I have to report my sister has a few new symptoms that are going around, and those symptoms are that she has big titties, a sweet pussy, and a great personality.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
How does a blonde punish her blind son? She takes away his TV privileges.
How does a blonde punish her deaf son? She takes away his telephone privileges.
How does a blonde punish her paraplegic son? She gives him a spanking.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.
If I slap an orphan, what will it do, tell its parents? 🤣😂🤣😂
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
To have someone to call "daddy!"
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Why do orphans play with boomerangs?
Because they come back.
Q. What is an orphan's favorite game?
A. Hide and seek.
I asked a kid why he was so blue.
Didn't realize his parents were choking him out.
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
He could never get a home run.
Why do orphans always come back?
Because I love cock.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.