Family jokes

Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

Being an orphan isn’t all bad.

On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

Why do orphans get in trouble at school?

Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.

Sonic says: "Gotta go fast!"

The Hulk SMASH!

Orphan says: "Gotta go home!"

Why do orphans love Oreos?

Because when they have a family pack, they can eat it all!

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

What does an orphan and a lost kid have in common?

They have no way home.

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

"Spider-Man: No Way Home," know why he’s an orphan now?

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

I have a secret crush on your momma.

Yesterday I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home.

Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.

Why does an orphan hate the internet?

Because he's always on the homepage.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the milk.

Not even the FBI knows where an orphan's parents are.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.