Family jokes

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

"Spider-Man: Homecoming"

I made a page for this orphan, but sadly it didn’t have a homepage.

I asked an orphan where his parents were.

(God, I wish I knew)

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Clearly not their parents."

Why do orphans read BL or GL?

Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.

I saw my sister sucking a big toe.

I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!

Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?

Because he didn’t do his homework.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they couldn't run home.

I asked my dad, "Are we there yet?" and he told me, "Don't worry, son, it will be a short ride!"

My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

Why do orphans love school so much?

They have no HOMEWORK.

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."