Family jokes
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not."
"Not who?"
"Not your dad."
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
Why do orphans play GTA?
To make them feel wanted.
If your wife dies of childbirth, can you press charges on the baby?
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
My wife left me and took the kids.
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.
My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."
Bob: Kanye West.
Dad: No, but I can East.
Yo' mama is a joke.
I was gonna tell you a joke about my abusive dad...
But I only remember the punch line👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.