Family jokes
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Memes
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?
He had no home to run to!
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse.
Would you help your uncle "Jack" off the horse?
Whoever said that about me better pray!
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
Why can't orphans complete homework?
Because they have no home!