Family jokes
Why can't an orphan be a bully? Because they don't have parents.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
Family be like:
Why can't orphans make dad jokes? Because they don't have one.
Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.
What is it called if your mom does not make it to your birth?...
An abortion.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
Teacher: Is anyone's parents missing?
Students: Yeah, yours.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
When an African has a twin, your me??
Hey daddy *winky face*
Teacher: I was an orphan once.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents.
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
What did the orphan say to his mom?
Where are you?
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
Billy: *spits out food*
Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.
Dad: *looks at mom*
Mom: Shut up.
If you get it, you get it.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.