Family

Family jokes

Magician

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

Orphan

How to cure boredom:

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Orphan

Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?

Because they have no parental guidance.

Memes

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?

One of them is picked.

Orphan

Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?

Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"

BAJAHAHAHHAA

Dick

What do you do if your dick is smoking?

Get your mum to lick it.

Mum

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

Door

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

Orphan

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

Orphan

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

Son

Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.

Word

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

Funeral

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

Wrestling

I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.