Family jokes

One day, Little Johnny walks in on his dad getting dressed and asked, "What is that, Daddy?" Dad said, "Oh, that's my snake." The next day, Little Johnny walks in on his mom getting dressed and asks, "What is that?" Mom says, "That's my bushes." The next day, Little Johnny can't sleep, so he goes into his parents' room and asks Dad, "Why is your snake going into Mom's bushes?"

Can we please stop the fricking drama! I see people bullying other people, too. Gwen is not the only one. For God's sake, just do jokes! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don't even know each other, but we're still doing this stupid nonsense! Just make jokes, people! That is why it's called "Worst Jokes Ever," not "Bully People Ever." So shut up and get a life, dum-dums! Geez! The only reason why I come here is to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don't even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fricking world!!!!

"Addison, shut up. You're only 8 years old. What do you know?"

I might be 8, but at least I got some sense, and plus, I'm way smarter than you guys anyway. I'm in alert. You know, like a very, very, very intelligent kid! That can spell instead of saying "u," I say the true "you," instead of "pls," it's "please." Sorry if I did mean it... which I don't!

What’s the difference between grandma getting ran over by a reindeer, and a poor kid’s parents getting ran over by military tractors?

When grandma got ran over by a reindeer, the kids actually gave a sh*t.

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.

Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."

What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?

cancer.

Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?

A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.

Yo momma's so hairy that when the baby came out, it got rug burn.

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.

I asked my sister to say something.

She said, "No."

That's what I like to hear.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They have no home to run to.

Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.