Family jokes
Why do orphans use Samsung?
Because iPhones have home buttons.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between your dad and a boomerang? The boomerang comes back.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?