Family jokes

What did the orphan do when he got punched?

Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Why do orphans only have 354 days?

'Cause they are missing Mothers and Fathers day!

I caught my wife cheating on me.

I beat my son and grounded him.

I would invite you to play baseball, but there's no home for you to run to.

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom Toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends; he has "family."

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?

'Cause their dad never came back with it.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.

Why do orphans like Minecraft? So they can build a home...

But a creeper blows it up.

Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.

What does an orphan and a dog have in common?

Both got taken from their parents.

My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang because it actually came back.

Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.

I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.

What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?

Her dad always comes back.

Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.

I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.