Family jokes
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.
What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?
Once they turn 18, they never come back.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t find home.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Why do orphans cry alone?
They do not have a mom's lap to sit on and a shoulder to cry on.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Why do orphans air?
It’s invisible just like their parents.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
Why don't orphans play tag?
Because there's no one to catch.
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
What’s the difference between a basketball player and an orphan?
One has a home to run to.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
I made a website for an orphan.
It had no homepage.