Family

Family jokes

Orphan

Orphan: Can I go outside?

Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.

Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW

Laundry

When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,

The present: Laundry.

*gunshot*

Kid

Why are kids so skinny?

Parents eat all the food themselves, and let the kids starve.

Orphan

I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"

I say, "Your parents."

Memes

Orphan

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Life Support

My grandfather said that ppl rely on technology too much these days, so I thought about what he said and decided to unplug his life support.

Child

Mary: If you born pikin (child) inside shop, wetin you go call that pikin (child)?

Mike: The pikin (child) go bear Bishop.

Orphan

What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)

It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.

Orphan

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked, and the other doesn’t.

Mum

"Your mum has very small balls. Congrats! I told her, your balls are bigger than your husband's."

Orphan

The orphan's best friend wanted to meet his family, so he took a selfie.

Orphan

I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.

To: The Orphan

From: ______

Actor

Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.

Mom: Witherspoon.

Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!