Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
Family Jokes
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
My grandfather says I’m too reliant on technology. I call him a hypocrite and unplug his life support. 😄😆🔥👍
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
"Him and his dead family." :(
Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
