Family jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!
You: Why? I don't have any.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
My dad is John Cena because I can't see him.
He couldn’t stand it anymore with his sister because he is in a wheelchair.
If you play games, go play on your sister.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
Sister: Hey sis, how are you today?
Me: Oh, good, you?
Sister: Good, 'cause I heard you finally got a good living life.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
Why do orphans go to church?
They go there to finally call someone "father."
Why can’t orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call DADDY! 😩
Q: Why do orphans like boomerangs?
A: They come back, unlike their parents.
Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?
Because the principal was going to call his parents.
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
Why do orphans love playing tennis?
Because it’s the only love they get.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."