Family jokes
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
Why do orphans go to church?
It’s the only place they can call someone “father.”
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.