Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Family Jokes
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He can't run home.
Why are orphans sad?
Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
I made a website about orphans.
It didn’t have a home page!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To reunite with his parents.
People always ask what the secret of our family's happiness is. It is simple really.
1. Television and computer games are limited to a couple of hours each week.
2. We all give each other a hand when needed.
Last but not least, we play Twister.
Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!
Me at an orphanage: I need to talk.
Orphan: My parents!
Me: You know that word?
