Family jokes
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
Why don’t orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call “daddy.”
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Memes
That's all is needed to complete my day
"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
Why are orphans so bad at learning about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.