Family jokes
How many orphans does it take to change a light bulb?
Obviously more than three because my basement is still dark.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
I bought my son a trampoline. He sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
Why do orphans like belts?
They remind them of their father.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He can't run home.
Why are orphans sad?
Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.
Why did John rape his mother? Because he wanted a brother to play Mario Kart with.
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
"Where are my balls? Down in your mom."