Family jokes
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Why does a brother love his sister?
Because he came in her.
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
A father tells his 10-year-old son...
"Sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on your cereal every morning and you will have a very long life."
His son followed his father's advice every morning without missing a day until he died at the age of 186, leaving behind 28 children, 67 grandchildren, 148 great-grandchildren, and a 7-foot crater where the crematory used to be.
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.
Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.