Family jokes
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!
Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!
Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.
Probably top.
Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.
I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.
From your mom.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Imagine not having parents. Lol.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
Technoblade: I'm the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans.
Quackity: What is the first thing to ever happen to the orphans???
Technoblade: Quackity..... they're orphans.
(Disclaimer: not funny xD)
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.
Orphan: Realizes.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.
Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?