Family jokes

Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.

What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?

The cat is actually cute.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home looks like.

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

What do blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

It's not incest if you're adopted.

I'll never forget my dad's last words before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, look how far I can kick this bucket!"

Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂

Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.

Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.

I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!

Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!

Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.

My grandfather died at Auschwitz.

Poor fella fell off the guard tower.

A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"

She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.

The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.

Orphan: Realizes.

Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"

Way down South: "You awake, mom?"

Technoblade: I'm the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans.

Quackity: What is the first thing to ever happen to the orphans???

Technoblade: Quackity..... they're orphans.

(Disclaimer: not funny xD)

What do you do when you're bored?

I beat up orphans.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I went to the orphanage and yelled "your mama" jokes.

From your mom.

Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.

Probably top.

Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.

Like this if you have ever had a family member die.

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.