Family jokes
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
Why couldn't the orphan get an Android? Because it didn't have a home button.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
Puppies actually get picked.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
Yo momma's so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Why do orphans get confused about ancient Egypt? Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
What's the difference between an orphan's parents and his boomerang?
One of them actually came back.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me!
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
What is the difference between an orphan and a cat?
The cat is actually cute.
I once tried to have a family friendly conversation with a worm, but it kept its head in the dirt.
My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.