Family Jokes

Why can’t orphans win trophies?

Because they can’t take them home.

What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!

me eating with my famliy

A cartoonish character with wide eyes and a gaping mouth is shown. The text above reads: "Tag a noisy eater".

Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.

PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.

What did the orphan say to his father?

Nothing, he doesn't have one.

It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.

Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.

Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.

Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?

Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."

Tyler: "Why?"

Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."

How can you tell if your sister is on her period?

Your father's dick tastes funny.

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

So in prep class, the students were asked to write a letter to their grandparents for Grandparents Day.

Little Johnny's friend, Little Sally, wrote things like, "Thank you," and, "You are so nice!" And Little Johnny goes, "What are you doing? You got it wrong!" So Sally says, "What do you mean? It's a letter." Little Johnny says, "Why did you do it like that? Just write a letter from the alphabet like the teacher said!" Then he says, "I wrote a J to remind them of me!"

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"