Family jokes
Why can't orphans go to school? They need their parents to sign them up.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?
Daughter: *tooth hurty*
Dad: All right.
Why can’t orphans have sex?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
Why do orphans play GTA?
Because they need to know what it’s like to be wanted.
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents.
Hey, Mom, I'm back from the circus parade. It was amazing! First came the elephants, then came the tigers in the cage, and then came a beautiful lady on a white stallion. Oh, and what came after her?
Asked the mother, "Dad and every sailor in the state of Tennessee," said the boy.
Why do orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
From your Dad.
I won’t be back for a while, it’s a very long line.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
A kid asks his father, "How long is our trip, Dad?"
The kid's father says, "Our trip is a Fortnite."
What are the best kind of fruit for twins? Pears 🍐
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
I still remember my dad's last words: "Don't worry son, Allah will be pleased."
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.