Family

Family jokes

Orphan

What does an orphan have that a homeless person doesn’t?

A home, but what does a homeless person have that orphans don’t?

A parent.

Brother

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

Trampoline

So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?

Mom

Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!

Difference

What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?

When it leaves and never comes back.

Mama

Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.

Mother

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

Dad

My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!

Skeleton

Sans: Pap, your spaghetti is bonearific.

PaprUs: Sans, no. Aw, your funny bone is not working; come on, that one was a rib tickler.

Mom

It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.

Bone

Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.

Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.

Fortnite

Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?

Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?

Incest

Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."

Tyler: "Why?"

Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."

Genocide

If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.