Family jokes
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.
Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother had diabetes.
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
What's the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.