Family jokes
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."