Family jokes

What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They never hit home.

I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.

A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"

Why can’t orphans play sports?

Because they don’t have a home team.

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.

The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"

The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."

A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.

The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.

Son: Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?

Because your mother had diabetes.

I complimented my neighbor's skeleton decoration for Halloween, but they just told me that it's their anorexic daughter.

You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:

Orphan: No Way Home.

Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell yo mama jokes.

Why can’t orphans have sex?

They have no one to call “daddy.”

Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?

Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.

The "M" and "D" in "orphan" stands for Mom and Dad.

I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"

He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."

You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.