Family jokes
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
Your mom.
Dad: Johnny! Johnny!
Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Dad: Did you hit your brother?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Telling lies?
Little Johnny: No, Papa!
Dad: Let me see your fist.
Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!
Dad: What is so funny?
Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!
Dad: >:(
Little Johnny: What? It's true!
Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.
Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!
Dad: Love you too, son.
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat the cancer.
What's the difference between you, your uncle, and your dad?
One didn't go in the closet.
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Who's in my ass?
Your sister.
Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor jokes?
It can't hit home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home base.
I tried to give directions to an orphan, but he got lost because there was no home.