Family jokes
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?
Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
why did i laugh at this? this is alot like someone I know.. hmm- ( in the cmmts write who u think it is!)
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
I like your mom naked.
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Not your dad?"
What is one word orphans can't spell?
Family.
Orphan: I wish to be like Batman.
Genie: Your wish is granted.
Orphan goes home. His parents are dead.
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.