Family jokes
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
We should not stop orphan jokes. They're funny as fuck.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Why do orphans always get picked on?
They can't run and tell their parents.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
... YO MAMA SOO, Oh wait...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They never hit home.
A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Why can’t orphans play sports?
Because they don’t have a home team.
My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.