Family jokes
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
What is the difference between iPhones and orphans?
iPhones have a home button.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?
So he could be called Father Les.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can’t run to home.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
Once I asked Siri to tell me a joke, and it asked me, "What is the difference between a large pizza and you?" One can feed a family.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.