Family jokes

Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.

What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?

You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.

I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!

I sucked your mom's anus.

Like this joke. Ur mom.

A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.

"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."

Why do the orphans keep going back to the orphan home?

Because they got no home to go to, yeah, please like this and laugh because I got no one to read this.

What do you call a duck with no head?

Your mom gay.

Why is my sister horny? It's because she loves my dick.

I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.

You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.

Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"

You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?

Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.

I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.

Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.

Son, he is dinner.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...

I made a website for orphans.

Silly me, I forgot the home page.

I dicked your mom down so good, bitch!

Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.

Sister: No, I won't stop.

Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.

Sister: What? You will see when I post it.

Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?

Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

Why did the orphan drop the soap in prison? So he can have a prison daddy.