Family jokes
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
Why can orphans travel around so much?
A. They never get homesick.
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Memes
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
What type of flower does an orphan use?
Self-raising flour.
Why is it okay to bully an orphan?
It’s not like they could tell their parents.
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
They actually come back.