Family jokes

"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Not your dad."Random kid: "My dad went to get milk. My mom said he will be back soon."

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.

Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.

Guys, this has to stop. Let's tell their parents. Oh wait...

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

My sister 🤣😂

We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.

What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?

Raisin kids!

Q: What’s the difference between apples and orphans?

A: Apples get picked.

I told my husband he should embrace his mistakes.

He hugged me!

Do you know what is good about being an orphan?

Every candy bar is family sized.

Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.

Popular guy in class: I am so funny.

Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.

"No Way Home" is just the life of an orphan.

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.