Family jokes

Why do orphans not like 1st-5th grade teachers?

Because they have a home room.

Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?

He can't afford a family pack.

"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."

My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.

And they're off!

What is an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang.

"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."

And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"

I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they don't have their parent's email.

Why do orphans love boomerangs?

They always come back.

Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?

Because his dad never came back with the milk.

My sister said that I need to stop with the audited butt:

I got it from her when I was born.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like all the passengers on the plane he was flying.

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

My dad went for the milk, but he left his wheelchair.

My sister 🤣😂

We just found out Grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than Grandma.

Joe Mama so dumb, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it is still printing.

What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

Go to an orphanage and tell the kids their parents came back as an April Fools' joke.

What do grapes 🍇 love most about family?

Raisin kids!