Family jokes
Your nan.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
"You have to do this," and my sister said, "Well, I don't care."
And I said, "Well, you care enough to respond back, oh my gosh!"
I will be back, I'm gonna get milk...
Me:...
We should stop.
Wait, but who is the orphan going to tell?
The boomerang!
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Dad: I'm giving all your toys to the orphan kid.
Kid: Why, Dad?
Dad: So you don't get bored.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.
Why can orphans get away from the FBI?
Because they don't have a house.
Why did the orphan become a criminal?
Because he wanted to actually be wanted.
Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”
I asked the orphan why he was crying. He didn't really say anything.
Then I asked where are your parents? He cried more. I love working at the orphanage.
Why do orphans hate mitosis cells?
They have parents.
Why do orphans love Home Alone?
They like to see a familiar picture.
I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.