Family jokes

Orphans are pretty tough. I mean, you never see them running home...

My dad is really angry at me for kicking the balls. He's the one that told me always aim for them. Is that why I don't have a brother?

I'm 17, right? Anyways, the other day my parents told me a joke they made 17 years ago, but they still haven't told the joke yet.

Why can you hit orphans?

Because they can't tell their parents.

Why do orphans become criminals?

So they can become wanted for once.

Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?

Because they can't call their parents.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your daddy is gay, So are you!

What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

How many children does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not 15, as my basement's still dark.

My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.

An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."

A homeless kid once said he will go home.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

You know why Santa's saying is "Ho Ho Ho?"

How else is he supposed to give boys and girls a baby brother or sister for Christmas?

Me: Why can't orphans play baseball? Friend: Why? Me: Because they can't find home.

Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?

He can't afford a family pack.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?........... The apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?

Pikachu, I choose you!

"Suck me off, daddy, I'm doing homework."