What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Family Jokes
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.
Why didn't the orphan go to the orphanage?
He didn't understand having a home, even if it was temporary.
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex.
I was bloody, sore, and but at least my dad came.
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
Why does your grandma like gardening so much?
Because she loves getting dirty down on her knees.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
