Family jokes
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Willy Wonka meme
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
What is the difference between iPhones and orphans?
iPhones have a home button.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
How are orphans like broken pencils?
Neither of them have points.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?