Family jokes
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Why do all orphans have iPhone 10-12?
They don't have a home button.
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
My stepdad took me to work, and he told me I could climb trees.
I woke up in a hospital. Wait, did I mention that my stepdad was a lumberjack?
Memes
I go to get my mail.
Stranger: "Something fell out of your pocket! April fools!"
Me: "You're adopted, April fools!"
Then I see an orphan behind me and gets all excited.
Why does an orphan like home base? Because he doesn't have one.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
What type of phones do orphans have?
IPhone XR—it has no home button.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
Why do orphans have an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.