Family jokes
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
Kids?
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Your nan.
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
What is the difference between iPhones and orphans?
iPhones have a home button.
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA? They aren't wanted!