Family jokes
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
They actually come back.
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
This is so true
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex.
I was bloody, sore, and but at least my dad came.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
Why can't orphans play on a computer?
'Cause they have no motherboard.
We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find the home plate.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?