Family jokes
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Why can't orphans get five stars in GTA? Because they weren't wanted.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
New Gen iPhones are designed for orphans, because they don’t need a home button.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
What should you never say to an orphan?
"Your Mom."
I can’t help you find orphan jokes. Maybe ask their family.
If a homeschooled kid shoots his parents, does that count as a school shooting?
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
I don't know, I don't have one.
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.