Family jokes
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.
The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.
After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?
Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Why doesn't the orphan have a nationality?
He doesn't have a motherland.
What do you call a person who keeps making jokes about rappers?
An annoying prick whose black dad left him as a kid.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
Mummy, how was I born?
Mummy replied, "Well, your father and I got married, and soon I became fat and you came out, and then in, out, in, out, and after you did that a million times, you were born."
Dads are like boomerangs... I hope...
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
What's the difference between me and an orphan?
At least my dad came back.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't hit a home run.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Duh!"
Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"
I hate when my brother dates other people.
Just kidding! 😵😵😵😵
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?