Family jokes
My mom gives me your stuff because you have bad grades.
Me: How about my 5 little brothers? I have A's; he has F's.
She lets him play anyway and I don't.
A woman having labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
“Don’t worry,” said Doc to the worried husband.
“Those are just contractions.”
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home plate is.
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?
At least outlaws are wanted.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
An advantage of being an orphan: the teacher can't give you any homework.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
Fosters.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
They actually come back.
I made a website for orphans.
Silly me, I forgot the home page.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
I saw a little kid crying. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. I got fired from the orphanage.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
Why do orphans like robbing banks?
So they can be wanted.
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.