Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
Your hairline went back faster than your adoption papers!
You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
Did you hear about the orphan that tried to high five a tree? It left her hanging.
TV Darth Vader: "I'm your father!"
Orphans: "Yea."
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Me: My grandpa killed 100 nazis in WWII.
My Friend: Well my grandpa killed Hitler.
Me: *Realizes*
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.
Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!
Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.
