Family jokes
What school can’t orphans go to?
Home school.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
What's the difference between a boomerang and parents to an orphan?
The boomerang comes back.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because the iPhone X doesn't have a home button.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
Why do orphans always come back?
Because I love cock.
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Why can’t orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: ______
During a phone call:
"Hey, is Michael Jackson in Miami with his manager?"
"Actually, he's off to Tampa with the kids."
Your mom's hot.
What’s the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.