Family jokes
A kid named Timmy said to his dad that he had sex with his teacher, and his dad was proud of him and gave him a bike.
The kid said, "I can't use it; my butt hurts!"
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
I made a website to adopt orphans. But there is no home page.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t have a home to run to.
My mum is a vegan. She brings us to after school seitan.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me!
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.