Family

Family Jokes

Orgasm

A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

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  • Pedo

    Two pedos are on the beach.

    One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"

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  • Mama

    Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.

    Masturbation

    I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"

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  • Sister

    My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.

    Yo mama

    Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

    Organ Donor

    My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.

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  • Crisis

    What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"

    Vasectomy

    I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

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  • Pencil

    I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.

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  • Sitcom

    What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.

    Boy

    What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"

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  • Wife

    Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!

    Parent

    I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.

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