Family

Family Jokes

Uncle

Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?

  • 2
  • Bucket

    I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, β€œHey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”

  • 5
  • Time

    Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?

    A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.

    Pedophile

    OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

    But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

  • 0
  • Mama

    Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.

    Mother

    When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.

    Mama

    Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to eat Eminem. 🎀😎

    Rhyme

    My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"

    I said, "No, it doesn't!"

  • 0
  • Kid

    What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.

    Girlfriend

    I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.

  • 6
  • Mama

    Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.

    Redneck

    What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?

    A redneck virgin!

    Brother

    There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.

    When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."

    The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."

    "Shut up."

    "No, I need to know your name."

    "Shut up."

    "Excuse me, but where are your manners?"

    "Round the corner picking up shit."

  • 3
  • Yo mama

    Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.