Family jokes
Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND the house.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
One time I was at home alone with my dawgy, and I was eating peanut butter. I thought since it's oily, I could use it as a lotion, so I spread it all over my private part. My dawgy came over and started licking the peanut butter off my private part, and my private part got big and hard. Then, white stuff came out of my wee wee, and my dawgy started looking up at me and whining.
And then my daddy came home and saw what I was doing and shouted, "What are you doing?" And I said I was using peanut butter on my private part. Then he said, "Well, let me have a taste." And then he started doing what my dawgy was doing.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)
Yo mama so stupid, she studied for the COVID test.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
word
kskfkrke;welkt
kdkfgkyour
kfksdfksdmomfkdjg
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They ain't got no home to run to.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
I finally asked my deadbeat dad what makes him happy. His answer? He hasn't gotten back to me.