My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
My mom was cooking dinner and asked me if I could get her a cutting board.
"No, I need you to take off your shirt and lay on the island so I can cut some chicken."
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse. You start in a beautiful gown and end up cleaning everyone's messes.