Me calling the orphan kid from school: hello are your parents home? The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* STOP CALLING HERE
What do you call a orphans family reunion
Me time
Bully: ur momma so fat that the whales said we r family even though ur a little bigger tah us
Nerd: yo momma so ugly tat when she went in the bathtub the water jumped out
Silence...................punch!
My wife cheated on me with my brother She didn't have a sister so I improvised and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner and when I decided to eat my family for dinner is called canabalism
Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.
9 months later they happily had some use for their baby carriage.
2 years later they went up again then their daughter had a brother.
But 1 little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother..
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. they are actually pretty funny. and i will show you y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Why don't orphans have any friends
Because they don't have homies
What’s and orphans favorite beer? Fosters
I went to visit my childhood home I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories, they said no and slammed the door on me, my parents are so mean.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home, he replied I can't get home it got bombed
I got a pen for my baby sister. Best trade I made so far.
Why cant orphans be kidnapped? Cause most kidnappers use a family van
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said “Your sister is dead!” sadly. The girl asked “She was skinny, right?” The mom said yes. The sister laughed “I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!”
dentist: open up sir
me:so..i hate my life my family my sisters my dog my cat and i tried to take a bath with my toaster but my dog took it that's why i hate my dog and my cat died trying to chew my rope it choked.....yea
dentist: i.. meant your mouth .. so i can clean your teeth
me: :O ohhhh my bad
dentist : do u need help??
me: yep
dentist:...
me: ....
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it. “They see me rollin’, they hating”
my gay ass: i want to find jesus religous mom: FINALLY me: grabs a noose
Mom asks “Who are you talking to?” The child said “A mistake.”
