New Family Jokes - Page 28 - Worst Jokes Ever

"I only want to play with your daughter. It was okay yesterday."

Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't run home.

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

Your dad is Spider-Man because he’s far from home.

What's the difference between friends and family?

One is actually real.

Why can't the orphan play baseball?

It doesn't know where home is.

I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.

Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭

Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?

Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!

How are orphans like broken pencils?

Neither of them have points.

What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?

Fosters.

What’s the difference between outlaws and orphans?

At least outlaws are wanted.

What is the difference between Juice Wrld and an orphan?

One is loved by all.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they have no home to go to.

If I was any more inbred, I'd be a sandwich.

Mum finds out child cheats in math test.

Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."

Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"

Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?

Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.

Mom: Can you hear them?

Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.

Mom: Why do you think that?

Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.

So this is how I got divorced.

On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!