Fall jokes
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?
When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.
Your mom's so fat, she fell.
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
You're a bish, and you are too!
Why did Ross fall off the swing?
Because he had no arms.
When someone falls, you say to them, "I remember when I started to learn to walk."
Why did the egg fall off the motorbike?
He was shite.
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Why did the tall building fall?
It was September 11th.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed.
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"Why the heck were my children jumping on a bed?"
Why did two red heads fall off the plane? Because they were so damn blind.
The clock struck one!
Then down did come!
Hickory dickory doc
What am I?
Random- a mouse?
Me- no dumb shit!
Random- what is it?
Me- the guillotine!
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx