Fall jokes
How many cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None, he fell.
My boyfriend said if I kiss him, I'll get lucky. I fell down a flight of stairs.
You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Why did the clown fall off his bike?
Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
Why is there a big old gay parade on one of the first days of summer?
Pride always cometh before the fall.
How do fat people settle arguments?
By bumping into each other to see who falls over first.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
I'd make you fall harder than the South Tower.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
A burglar breaks into the home of a weapons engineer. He wants to steal some of his weapons from his strictly secured chamber. When he breaks in through the window to go into his weapons cellar, he realizes that the inventor is at home and heard him from upstairs.
The burglar shouts, "Hands up, there is no escape!" The engineer shouts, "What do you want from me?" The thief answers impatiently, "Well, what do you think? I know what you're hiding here. Get me entry to your armory, right away!" "Never in my life will I do that!" The burglar pulls out his pistol, "Either you let me in, or you go for it!"
"Well, I'll give up, I'll give you my guns. Please don't shoot me." The burglar grins gleefully, "Thank you." "I even have a gun here that I've been working on lately. You can have it." The burglar then thinks and grunts, "Okay, before you open up, you'll show me this first!"
The inventor says, "It's shooting plasma. You can test it on one of my practice goals that I've made while I'm unlocking," and points to a side room where various dummies with targets are set up. The burglar walks into the room with the targets, focuses on the red dot in the middle of the disc, and pushes off. But the gun does not fire plasma or at the target. Instead, the gun fires a bullet at the burglar. This causes him to bleed to the ground.
The engineer behind him began to laugh, "Hahaha! I knew you were falling for it! This is not a plasma gun at all; this is my latest invention, especially for burglars like you: the backward-shooting pistol."
Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
What falls from the tree first, the autistic retard or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the autistic retard.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
My heart is dead.
I’m such a fool.
Why did I fall for you?
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.