30+ Harvest Jokes

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

What's the difference between orphans and cotton?

Cotton gets picked.

Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?

Because they are full of ears!

Now that was a corny joke.

And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?

Apples get picked.

Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.

The image shows a scarecrow dressed in a white robe and hood, similar to what members of the KKK would wear. The scarecrow stands in a field of watermelons. The text reads 'How to protect your watermelon farm.'

What's the difference between an apple and a child?

The apple gets picked.

How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!

What kinds of apples grow on trees?

All of them.

I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?

Because there's too many ears.

What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.