Harvest jokes
Why did the rapper visit the farm?
To drop some FRESH BEETS!
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
I harvested indigo to make dye. I made the dye. I made a number dye. I dyed the dye. I rolled the dye. It made me die.
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
What's the difference between an apple and a child?
The apple gets picked.
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
What's the difference between Jane Doe and a field?
A field gets harvested in the fall, while Jane Doe gets plowed.
Why don't black lives matter anymore?
Because a harvester is more efficient at picking crops than slaves.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?
None, because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? Here's a good example...
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apparently) threw out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. "Why are you running?"
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he's bleeding!"
They three of them decide it's best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, "What's so funny?"
"Grandma farted and the house blew up!"
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Hannes asks his mother, "Mom, why are the peanuts called peanuts?" Mom replies, "Because they grow in the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why don't strawberries grow in the earth?" Mom replies: "The giraffes originally had a short neck, but it has grown from giraffe to giraffe. The same thing happened with the strawberries. They grew in the earth and grew higher from harvest to harvest until at some point their stems protruded from the earth." Hannes replies, "Then why is my neck so short?" The mother replies: "So many people died in the First and Second World Wars that our necks could not develop at all. It was the same in the Thirty Years' War. We humans have been in so many wars. The giraffes in none and that's why our neck is so short."