Fall jokes

What do friends and trees have in common? They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"

The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"

Why don't black people go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.

What's the difference between an emo kid and a leaf? Only the leaf reaches the ground.

A leaf and a depressed kid fall from a building. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf, the rope stops the depressed kid.

Friend: Want to play Fall Guys?

Friend 2: Yup.

Friend: Ok, so let me ju- wait, where are you going?

Friend 2: I'm gonna jump off.

Friend: Why?

Friend 2: We are playing Fall Guys, right?

What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?

Oh sheet!

Boy: "My girlfriend didn't dump me, I dumped her..."

Off the nearby cliff.

Q: How do you know a wishing well works?

A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.

What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?

Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.

What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.

Q: What did the cannibal shout when his friend fell on the floor?

A: "FIVE SECOND RULE!"

How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?

Sing a koala-by.

A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

Why did Billy fall off his bike?

Because his dad threw a chair at him.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"

OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.

ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!

When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:

Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.

I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.

I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.

What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?

A hoedown.