Fall jokes
The ice cream man tried to murder me today.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.
Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."
Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"
"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."
"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
When your mom fell down, a 10 magnitude earthquake shook the Earth.
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?
Screamed till her hands fell off.
I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they can fetch some pee. Jack fell down and broke his whole body. Jill just laughed and didn’t care, so now they have a daughter.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!