Fall jokes

What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.

Why does a leaf fall faster than an Emo?

The Emo hangs himself.

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.

The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.

House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.

How did Mace Windu die?

He fell out the windoo.

I was born yesterday, and I walked down memory lane. I fell over the edge!

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

Chuck Norris once went to hell.

After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!

Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?

Son: Why?

Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.

"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."

What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?

9/11 victim!

Who was the first carpenter?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down a well?

Screamed till her hands fell off.

When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.

So this one time I saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and I helped her up and she said "Thank you," and I said, "You're welcome." The next day I saw her legs and someone said, "I would not do that," and I said, "Whatever." I tapped Sally, and the top halve fell. I said, "WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY?" And someone said she went in a minefield.