Fall jokes
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
What's the difference between a guy and a woman? They fall from different heights.
I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Why did Sally fall dead?
Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.
I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."
What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.