Fall jokes

Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.

One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."

The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."

The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.

After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.

The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"

The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.

Why did Sally fall dead?

Because she was on top of a tower and fell because she had no arms. Hahahahaha!

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

He was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

He was also dead.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

Monkey see, monkey do.

Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?

He was stapled to the first one.

Sally fell off the swing.

Sally has no arms.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.

I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"

I was anonymous with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*."

What's black and white and red all over? A mime I hit with my car.

Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.

Why did Gemma fall off her bike?

She got hit by a fridge.

I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.

What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?

With a pitchfork.

How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?

I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.

Chuck Norris once went to hell.

After that, the Devil only falls asleep after he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."

What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.