Fall jokes
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
What does a French guy say when he falls off?
Oh no, Eiffel!
Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Joe mama so fat when she got sturdy, she tripped on her shoelaces, fell on her face, and fell down 2 floors.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
Best way to trick your friends:
A brick falls out of a plane.
How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.
The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.
Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.
My grandfather died at Auschwitz.
Poor fella fell off the guard tower.
The Twin Towers are like snowmen; they fall and crumble.