Fall jokes

Guy: Why can't Jesus have M&M's?

Priest: Why?

Guy: Because they'll fall through the hole in his hands.

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice? Nothing, he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*

The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.

Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?

A: She got hit by a bus.

You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.

Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

What does a French guy say when he falls off?

Oh no, Eiffel!

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

How can you tell if someone Amish is an alcoholic? They keep falling off the wagon.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Not Sally.

My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.

He swears by it, but he’s in denial.

The twins are falling down.

What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?

An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"