Why do nuns not wear bra's? God supports everything.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them saying "God will surely save me."
The medical team tries to help him but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B**** I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
Why did the child die? To see god our father
The only difference between you and Jesus, is that jesus believed in himself.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion "What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop." said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop." said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father les.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone that must be why there is a lot of kidnappings
god is good god is great
So I went to a church and I ask a friend is the picture on the wail is Jesus and dose it have three nails or one nails Oh Wait that not Jesus he is not doing the T pose that he invited
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common? A: They both come in a little behind
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped
so the man asks me, "Jesus how do you want your steak "
so I said, "well done, my good faithful servant, well done.
Jesus was being hug up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out ''Peter, peter come to me!'' So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when i reach the top the Romans cut of my arms and chuck me back down the hill. ''Peter, peter come to me!'' cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill then the Romans cut my legs of and threw me back down. For the third time Jesus cries ''Peter peter come to me!''. So i wriggle up the hill and I guess the romans pitied me and let me through. ''Look peter, I can see my house from here!''
If a priest listen to sad music in his church he really enjoys to be deep in minor
Bible Verse of The Day-For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. —Romans 8:15-16
