What do u call a Muslim praying: Allahu akbar.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider transMEN as men which is rather confusing to me. As a Jew I don’t know very much about Christianity but from what I’ve heard- don’t priests love little boys?
Why was baptism invented?
How else was a priest supposed to clean his sex toys?
I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.
Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel? 😁
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What's the difference between 5% of priests and 5% of atheists?
5% of atheists have seen a ghost.
5% of priests have spooked altar boys in the sacristy.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?
So there’s more for the priest.
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
My gay ass: I want to find Jesus.
Religious mom: FINALLY!
Me: Grabs a noose.
There is no god. None, not one.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find God he'll help you!" and than the man said “There’s only one way to get to God and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?”
Jesus is the worst just joking he is the best Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle Jesus comes from Bethlehem😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇
i heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains but faith cannot move your receding hairline
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church. He said to the priest, "Please say a prayer for me," and the priest said, "I ain’t got nun left." Then he died.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
