Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?
A: The size of balls they play with
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary. Because she was straight into Jesus
If a Muslim loses his Faith... Does he throw in the Towel? ๐
And God said to John, "Come forth and you shall be granted eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.
There is no god. None not one.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself and his friend says "Find God he'll help you!" and than the man said โThereโs only one way to get to God and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?โ
Jesus is the worst just joking he is the best Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle Jesus comes from Bethlehem๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
i heard a motivational quote saying faith can move mountains but faith cannot move your receding hairline
A guy was dying after getting stabbed in a church.he said to the priest please say a prayer for me and the priest said โI ainโt got nun leftโ then he died
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
Jesus and Moses come back to earth. Moses says, let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before. So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before. Jesus quips, close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last. So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him, Moses says, hey it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before.
And so the Lord said unto John, "Come forth; and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Why do nuns not wear bra's? God supports everything.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them saying "God will surely save me."
The medical team tries to help him but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B**** I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
Why did the child die? To see god our father
The only difference between you and Jesus, is that jesus believed in himself.
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi were chatting one day when the conversation turned to a discussion of job descriptions and promotion "What do you have to look forward to in way of a promotion in your job?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, I'm next in line for the Monsignor's job." replied the Priest.
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Well, next I can become Bishop." said the Priest.
"Yes, and then?" asked the Rabbi.
"If I work real hard and do a good job as Bishop, it's possible for me to become an Archbishop." said the Priest.
"O.K., then what?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest, beginning to get a bit exasperated replied, "With some luck and real hard work, maybe I can become a Cardinal."
"And then?" asked the Rabbi.
The Priest is really starting to get mad now and replies, "With lots and lots of luck and some real difficult work and if I'm in the right places at the right times and play my political games just right, maybe, just maybe, I can get elected Pope."
"Yes, and then what?" asked the Rabbi.
"Good grief!" shouted the Priest. "What do you expect me to become, GOD?"
"Well," said the Rabbi, "One of our boys made it!"
