How do you know you are blessed by God?
You don’t laugh at, make light of, or enjoy the evils and suffering people are inflicting on themselves and upon each other
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father les.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone that must be why there is a lot of kidnappings
god is good god is great
So I went to a church and I ask a friend is the picture on the wail is Jesus and dose it have three nails or one nails Oh Wait that not Jesus he is not doing the T pose that he invited
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common? A: They both come in a little behind
If you have an Autistic child, don't worry. Put your trust in God and pray it gets kidnapped
so the man asks me, "Jesus how do you want your steak "
so I said, "well done, my good faithful servant, well done.
Jesus was being hug up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out ''Peter, peter come to me!'' So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when i reach the top the Romans cut of my arms and chuck me back down the hill. ''Peter, peter come to me!'' cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill then the Romans cut my legs of and threw me back down. For the third time Jesus cries ''Peter peter come to me!''. So i wriggle up the hill and I guess the romans pitied me and let me through. ''Look peter, I can see my house from here!''
If a priest listen to sad music in his church he really enjoys to be deep in minor
Bible Verse of The Day-For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. —Romans 8:15-16
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins he has all power but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea that’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different. Our lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven the promise land only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our lord. This is your choice believe and go to Heaven or don’t believe and go to Hell a eternal death make a choice.
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?" the priest asks. "Christian kittens," the little girl answers.
Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way.
A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box," he says, "It's the cutest thing!"
The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens," she says.
The priest rushes forward and says, "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were 'Christian kittens!!!'"
"They were," she says. "Now their eyes are open."
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No..
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
How do you help a suicidal person cheer up?
You tell them it's a leap of faith.
Jesus shows up and says you’ve got to go to church. You follow him in and under their breath it sounds like somebody says you steal and you say in your mind knowing you have before I’m sorry then somebody caughs and under their breath it sounds like they say again you steal so you whisper quietly I’m sorry... ...then somebody in German says shoot that son of a bitch
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the left over fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pome-grants. For this was the sacred mounth of ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the momment after sunset!
When ariana grande walked into the chruch she said GOD IS A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
